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  ‘Oh, Reggie! Oh, God. He’s really gone. He’s gone and I hurt so much.’

  He held her tightly, his own tears mingling with hers as he said over and over again, ‘I know, darling. I know.’

  Jack Johnson came outside and sighed sadly as he saw them. He thought for a fleeting few seconds how lovely it would be if they got together at some point. After all, they had both loved Lenny in their own ways.

  Sharon cried into Reggie’s chest and felt the stone of hatred gradually softening.

  She knew she would need Reggie in the future, and that there was no way she could ever let on about what she knew. But now, at this minute, she felt safer in his arms than she had since Lenny’s death. Reggie would always be there for her. His guilt would see to that.

  Book Three

  Behold, I come as a thief.

  Revelation 16:15

  Chapter Eighty-Four

  1991

  Sharon Scott was fuming and both her boys knew why.

  ‘Are you fucking stupid? Bringing all this to my door! Who do you two think you are, eh? You’re always fighting.’

  She searched their faces for some kind of answer but, as usual, there was nothing. Liam looked sorry, but she knew that wasn’t because of the fighting – it was because he had vexed her and he never liked to hurt her in any way. He was sorry for making her sad, not for the fight that had caused so much trouble. He was a good boy in that respect and he loved her dearly. But, like young Lenny, he found trouble before it found him. She sighed in consternation. Lenny was his father’s son – he would go his own road. They both would.

  ‘You’re suspended from school. I hope you are pleased with yourselves. Like I haven’t got enough on my plate.’

  She walked out of the room and left them to their own devices. She really couldn’t do this any more. They were too much for her. She poured herself a glass of wine and took a big gulp. This was her time – a bit of peace. The boys were ruffians; always fighting, always together. She had had enough. Lenny’s father thought they were wonderful – chips off the old block. She gulped at her wine again, and savoured the taste. If only he fucking knew the truth.

  All she did was work and be a mother – that was all that she’d thought she needed. But she was still a young woman and, as the time had gone on, she was beginning to realise that what she really needed was a man. But she definitely wanted a real man. She would not allow herself to be so stupid this next time around. He would be a real fucking man all right, in every way that mattered. She would make sure of that much.

  She missed the closeness of sex before she had been so cruelly shown that the man she had married and loved – oh, how she had loved him! – had been no more than a liar and a cheat. He had wanted her in the beginning – she had to believe that. But after he met Reggie he had used her shamelessly. It still broke her heart to think of how he had duped her, how he had used her. Seeing the devastation on Reggie’s face when the news of Lenny’s death broke had been enough to convince her that she was right about her husband. How that had hurt. Yet even knowing what he’d done, she could not stop loving him. That was what really angered her.

  How many nights had she lain there, going back over every moment of their life together and looking for clues that convinced her that she had been made a complete fool of? He had wanted a man over her – a big, handsome, masculine man. She closed her eyes and tried to force the images away. They would gain her nothing, except pain.

  She finished the wine and poured herself another glass. She would drink this one slowly.

  She heard the boys upstairs and knew they were getting ready for bed, even at this early hour. They always went to bed when they had upset her. And she was ashamed to say that she let them.

  Chapter Eighty-Five

  Lesley Scott was annoyed and her husband knew why. Since the death of his son it seemed that Sharon was making any excuse she could to keep away from them and keep the boys away from them too. Sharon was a shadow of her former self, even though she had never looked lovelier. He was a man and she was a good-looking woman – not that he would ever say that to his wife, of course. Sharon should be like a daughter to him, but that did not mean he did not see her obvious charms. She was a woman who needed a man. He suspected all had not been quite right between Sharon and Lenny before his son’s death, but every time he had tried to ask her if things were OK, she had smiled and briskly changed the subject. He could only assume his Lenny had had a bird of some description. He was a realist. Lenny, God love him, would not have been the first and he would not be the last. But his death had obviously marked Sharon in some way.

  Sharon had carried on with the betting shop and the loans and she had done a good job – Jack Johnson had made sure of that. He’d seen off all threats and had given her the best help available; that was a testament to Big Lenny’s son’s memory as far as he was concerned. He knew that Jack paid the lion’s share of their wages and that he kept a close eye on Sharon and the boys. But she had changed so much.

  He sighed as he listened to his wife argue how their daughter-in-law seemed determined to shut them out. There was more to this than met the eye; he’d lay money on it.

  He wondered if he should mention to his wife that her overbearing nature could be part of Sharon’s irritation. But she would de-ball him in nanoseconds if he dared to criticise her. Lesley Scott thought that only three opinions were valid: God’s, the Pope’s and hers. Obviously hers was the most important. Since they buried Lenny she had turned into a religious maniac. She took Communion every morning at six o’clock Mass. The priest bore the brunt of her grief and Big Lenny was relieved about that. He missed their boy as much as she did but, unlike her, he didn’t feel the need to harass the priest about it.

  He certainly couldn’t tell her that his dead son’s wife was becoming more and more appealing to him by the day. That he thought of her constantly. That he wanted her desperately. No, he was best keeping his own counsel about that. Sharon was like a drug to him. He knew it was wrong and yet he still wanted her.

  Chapter Eighty-Six

  Reggie was pleased to hear that Sharon was making a success of her businesses. In fact, behind the scenes, he had made sure that success would be hers, whatever happened. Like Jack Johnson, he was doing everything he could to make her life as easy as possible. Too many women in the Life were forgotten when they lost their men. It wasn’t just losing a husband, but often a decent standard of living into the bargain. Reggie was determined that would not happen to Sharon or her boys. There had been that terrible moment after Lenny’s death when Reggie realised she knew about them. They never again spoke about it explicitly, but he knew that she couldn’t stand the sight of him. He kept his distance. He understood that she resented him, and he also appreciated that she had kept his secret. She could have quite easily destroyed him. But, in doing so, she would have destroyed her husband into the bargain and she would not do that to her sons.

  She was an astute woman who understood the virtue of her silence. If the truth ever came out about Lenny, her sons would suffer as she would. Nevertheless Reggie was aware of how hard it must have been for a woman of her passion and temperament. He knew Sharon – how often had he discussed her with Lenny? He knew that Lenny had loved her and he wished he could remind her of that. Not that she would ever believe it now.

  He still missed his friend and his lover. Lenny Scott had been all he had ever dreamed of, all he had ever wanted. The short time they had had together had been bittersweet. But his grief was aggravated by the fact that he had hurt Sharon Scott for no good reason. He had wanted her to live in ignorance, as had her husband. Lenny would have been devastated to know she’d uncovered their secret. Reggie had been an uncle to their sons and wanted the best for them. Why wouldn’t he? He had never set out to hurt her – he liked and respected her. He had also been in love with the man she had married. Had he loved him more than her? Who could say? All he knew was that he would watch out for her and her sons as b
est he could, whether she wanted him to or not. It was what Lenny would have wanted too and Reggie would still do anything for him.

  He walked into the Prospect of Whitby public house and headed to the bar. Jack wanted him to meet with a contact of his called Ray Donovan. He saw a huge, handsome man at the bar. The eyes of everyone in the place were on him, not just because he was new in town, but because he was a handsome fucker with a real presence. Even Reggie Dornan was impressed.

  Ray Donovan had an easy charm that belied his size. He had a great smile that seemed to light up his face. He was dark-haired, blue-eyed and built like the proverbial brick shithouse. For Reggie, it was love at first sight. For Ray Donovan it was the start of a great friendship.

  Jack had been looking for someone to take over Lenny Scott’s businesses and look after Sharon and the boys and had asked Reggie to check him out. Twenty minutes into the meeting he knew this was just the man. Ray looked intimidating but he was easy-going and willing to do what was asked of him. Reggie was impressed that the man had done his homework and knew everything about Sharon, her family and their business connections; that told him he was dealing with a man of sense and discernment. Reggie had never been a queen-like homosexual, but he felt his heart hammering in his chest as Ray spoke. Not since Lenny had he felt like this about a man. But Reggie’s gaydar was pretty good, and this man was straighter than the proverbial ruler. He still felt himself getting a hard-on as he looked at him though. It was clearly time for him to disappear and look for some entertainment further afield; he had no chance looking locally. Plus his tastes ran to the masculine, to men like himself: big, dangerous, up-for-it and discreet.

  He brought his mind back to the man in front of him and explained the situation.

  Ray Donovan seemed happy to listen and keen to take on the protection of Sharon Scott and her businesses. There had been a few overtures to take her cab ranks off her hands and, though she didn’t want to be relieved of them, the man who had requested them was a new, young Face who had a reputation for violent confrontation. The combination of a big, handsome fucker like Ray Donovan, himself and Jack, might just be the answer to their prayers. Apparently Ray had his creds, he had done a lump and had done it with ease and without ruffling any feathers. He was well thought of up North and was in need of a change of scenery. He had tugged a big Filth so needed to leave his manor quickly.

  Now all Reggie had to do was sell Ray to Sharon Scott; he had a feeling that she might not put up too much of a fight. The man was beautiful and he was a man’s man. What Reggie Dornan wouldn’t do to make him his man. Life could be fucking cruel.

  Chapter Eighty-Seven

  When Sharon let her father-in-law in she could see immediately that he had had a few too many. She opened him a bottle of Beck’s, hoping he’d leave when he was done, and he drained it quickly. She was beginning to dread his visits. The way he looked at her made her feel uneasy. She sensed he wanted her and she was frightened. He was the grandfather of her boys – it was wrong.

  He talked about Lenny all the time, pointing out how alike they were, saying that her sons needed a male influence. It was creepy and it was also something she didn’t know how to deal with. Her father would lose it if she told him her fears. He would commit murder. And she had to think of Lesley, the sainted mother-in-law, who never lost a chance to tell her what she was doing wrong with her fatherless boys. She’d never believe it. She’d blame Sharon for stirring up lies.

  Sharon sighed in consternation. She poured herself a whisky and looked at the man sprawled on her sofa. She guessed he needed to be drunk to come to see her. Sober, he was a sensible man. But with a drink in him, he felt the urge to come to her and try, in his clumsy way, to tell her he loved her. It was so awful. She listened as he told her that she was a young woman still, how she needed an older man, a man who would keep her happy, who would be a mentor to her sons. Sons who needed a firm hand, a strong influence in their lives so they didn’t go to the bad. She felt physically sick listening to him; she didn’t know what to do. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation of any kind with her mother-in-law. That would cause too much hurt and bad feeling, and she didn’t understand why this man couldn’t see that. She didn’t want him, and she didn’t want the trouble and heartache that would follow if this ever got out. As if she would go near him! It was disgusting even to contemplate.

  When she heard a knock at her door she was up and out of her seat with a mixture of relief and dread. She hoped it wasn’t her mum or dad; her mum was astute enough to suss out the situation. She opened the door to Reggie Dornan and, for the first time in years, she was actually pleased to see him. She could see how shocked he was at his welcome and only hoped that he would immediately take on board what was going on. When she saw the man standing behind him, she was stunned into silence. He was the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. He was big – bigger even than her Lenny had been – and he had deep-blue eyes and thick, black hair. She stood there for a long moment, her hand at her throat, as Ray Donovan walked towards her and, holding out his hand, said softly, ‘I’m Ray.’

  She opened the door wide and gestured for them to come into her home. She was bereft of speech.

  Reggie watched them greet each other and felt a prickle of jealousy. He followed them into the house and felt a moment’s anger; he should not be following Ray Donovan into Sharon’s home – he was there to introduce them. He had to tread carefully where Sharon was concerned. He saw her as little as possible but he knew that Jack had noticed the animosity between them and wondered at why it was there. Like most people, he assumed that Lenny had been playing away from home and that Sharon had found out and blamed Reggie. Reggie never said a word either way – he was far too shrewd.

  When they walked into the lounge, Reggie’s heart dropped and he understood the reason for his unusually warm welcome.

  Big Lenny, as drunk as he was, knew he had been caught out.

  Reggie introduced Ray Donovan and he saw that Ray had taken in the situation immediately as well.

  Big Lenny stood up and said haltingly that he was just leaving. It spoke volumes that no one insisted he got a cab and that they happily let him get in his Cosworth and drive himself home.

  When he had gone, Reggie rolled his eyes at Sharon and she smiled sadly.

  ‘Looks like we came at the right time, Sharon.’

  She sighed heavily. ‘You could say that.’

  She offered them a seat and sat there quietly waiting to hear why they had called on her.

  Reggie took the initiative then. ‘Sorry to come here so late but I wanted to introduce you to Ray. Jack thinks you need him, Sharon. This is just to be on the safe side so don’t get too worried, but having Jamie Brewer come after your cab ranks is serious. He won’t go up against me, or Jack, obviously. He is, however, one devious cunt. So we have brought Ray in to give you a hand and a bit of muscle. He will be with you to help you run the show and to be there if anything should get a bit out of hand.’

  Sharon realised immediately that Jack and Reggie must be genuinely worried if they were going to these lengths. She also realised that there could be real trouble in store. In all honesty, she had been going to let the fucker have the ranks but this man put a completely different connotation on the situation. She decided that she wanted Ray Donovan around for a while.

  ‘Can I get you both a beer?’

  She went into her kitchen and, as she opened the beers, she felt the pull of Ray Donovan. Even his accent was attractive. He was the antithesis of Lenny and that was exactly what she needed. Oh, he was big and he was handsome, and he was more man than she had ever seen in her lifetime. She also sensed that Reggie wanted him; she saw the way he looked at Ray, and that was enough for her to want him more. Let him see how it felt. As tears came to her eyes she went to the mirror and looked at herself. She knew she was a beautiful woman; men desired her. She had a lot to offer, not just in her looks – she also had lucrative businesses. She wa
s considered a catch in their world but, until now, she had not wanted to be caught. This new development might force her father-in-law to give her a wide berth and that could only be a good thing.

  Big Lenny had increasingly become a worry that she could do without. She felt it would not be long before he got up the courage to actually lay his hands on her. She had given him no encouragement at all. Why the fuck would she? He was a womaniser and, with a drink in him, he would eventually approach her. She was also shrewd enough to see that this Ray Donovan would be an asset to her in more ways than one: he could be the man to wipe away the memory of Lenny Scott and his fucking duplicity.

  She brought the beers in to the men, and agreed with Reggie that Ray would start working for her the next day as her number two and, with that in mind, she went to bed for the first time in years a happy woman.

  Chapter Eighty-Eight

  Ray Donovan had looked at Sharon Scott and felt a tremendous – and unexpected – desire to look after her. She was a beautiful woman, but she was also very vulnerable. If ever a woman needed a man to look out for her then she was the one – alone with two young sons and no man on the horizon. Her husband, he knew, had been brutally murdered and that had left Sharon and her children bereft in all ways. He had never felt such a pull before, never felt such a rush of emotion as he had with this Sharon Scott. He sensed that she reciprocated his feelings – he wasn’t a fool. Women liked him – they always had – but he wasn’t a man to flit from girl to girl. He wanted something more than that. He wanted a woman he could love deeply and who he could respect.